Writing Workshop. Part 1: Description
September 28, 2009
Let's see how this goes. Describe in a couple sentences, the image you see here. Then we'll discuss different techniques for description over the rest of the week, using your examples as, well, examples.
Here's mine.
His toothless mouth opened in delight, although it reminded Nick of a snapping turtle. Blue-green eyes still looked out at the world with intensity from beneath a snap-brim hat, belying his years. Seventy? Eighty? Ninety!? His skin seemed oddly smooth, though there was no doubt about the age. No wrinkles, but nobody was going to compare his skin to a baby's bottom.
Your turn. (Yes, I changed the one of my son, because I was told it was inhibiting).
posted by Mark Terry at 5:53 AM
2 Comments:
The other witnesses all described his toothless smile, as though a man were defined by how often he flossed. When they got to me I told them straight away about the eyes. One opening wider than the other. Neither intent upon the concerns of the other. And behind them, no one at the wheel.
Dad's eyes hadn't tracked right since the day a Nazi clouted him with a brick. The blow didn't knock him out. He got up and cut the guy in half with his bayonet. He looked happy to see me now, almost like he recognized me this time. Someone had helped him shave. He wore a wool driving cap and a red sweater and the kind of toothless grin you see in babies and insane asylums.
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