Mark Terry

Friday, February 13, 2009

25 Things About Me

February 13, 2009
Facebook feels like it's so hip because a 25-things-about-me meme is sweeping it. It even made the "mainstream media" which is a euphemism for "24-hours-after-everybody-else-already-knows-about it." In this case, the notion that a meme of any sort is news ("new" is part of "news" people!) is a little bit baffling.

So, here's a 25 things about me meme. Feel free to do it yourself.

1. I was born in Kansas City, MO in 1835.

2. I'm a clone of a vegetable. A rutabaga.

3. My parents ran away from the circus and created a quiet life for themselves in the suburbs.

4. My "other" vehicle is a Mercedes stretch limo.

5. I play the flute. Without a condom.

6. One eye is blue and one is brown. The other is green.

7. My first girlfriend went on to be Gwyneth Paltrow.

8. Or Oprah. I can never remember which.

9. I was kidnapped by aliens in my twenties and underwent many deviant alien examinations.

10. I liked it.

11. I weigh 385 pounds dripping wet.

12. But a lot less when it's above freezing.

13. Twenty-five of these things? Christ, who has time for this nonsense?

14. My last novel became a bestseller.

15. It was called "The Da Vinci Cold."

16. It postulates that Jesus died of a virus, not crucifixion. 

17. Early biological warfare.

18. One of my ancestors was named Adam.

19. Just kidding. Her name was Eve.

20. Wait, doesn't that mean I'm a descendent of God?

21. I like stingers for breakfast.

22. What's a stinger?

23. I have 13 siblings.

24. We had one bathroom growing up. (Oh, wait, this one's true.)

25. I don't have trixadecaphobia. Nor can I spell it.

Mark Terry